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Fic: More to Life than Trying to Survive (1/1) *R* D/Hr [Jan. 3rd, 2005|12:30 pm]
Quiet Ones Fic Exchange

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[inell]
Title: More to Life than Trying to Survive
Author: ariel
Rating: R for language
Summary:
“We have to survive,” Draco said angrily. “and we can’t do that if we are foolish.”
Hermione stared at Draco a long time.
“There has to be more to life than surviving,” she said.
Authors Note: This is insanely late, and I’m really sorry, I guess that’s why I never participate in these exchanges; I can’t work to a deadline. I hope it’s what you wanted; you’re definitely one of my favorite authors!



She often wondered just when she had lost her common sense.

She never intended to get in this deep, to lose it so suddenly and violently, but she supposed that’s the point of the words lost. It’s gone, and probably forever.

It was the biggest secret ever kept, and the greatest story never told.

The library was her favorite place in the entire school. It was familiar, safe, sometimes a bit too drafty, but that’s what cloaks are for.

He usually met her here; too, and in the backmost room under the disguise of the flickering candlelight he called her beautiful.

But their life couldn’t be only secret meetings and candlelight, they both knew that, but only she was the strong one, and she pushed him to be strong too.

He got quiet when she talked about the future. He got quiet, but that didn’t stop her, not ever.

~

“I wish you would talk to me,” Hermione said to Draco, slightly frustrated. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”

They were in their usual spot in the library. The entire place was empty due to Christmas break. Only a few students stayed this year, and those students did now want to spend their time with the books.

“There’s nothing to think about,” he said with an edge. “Some of us are not born with choices.”

Hermione can’t even think of a witty reply to this. She can’t fathom not having a choice. She wants to shake him and hit him and kiss him…until he can come to see what she’s been trying to tell him for months.

“Please,” she resigns herself to a soft plea. “Draco…we all have choices.”

He glares at her. “Come with me then!” he all but shouts. “If everyone has a choice, then choose me! It’s just that simple!”

She shakes her head sadly. “I said you had a choice, I did not call it simple.”

She stares at him a long time. He stares back.
“You know why I can never join them,” he says.

“You know why I can never join them,” she says.

They continue to stare. She’s determined to come to a conclusion by the end of the night. He’s determined to survive the night.

“They’ll kill you,” she says.

“They’ll kill you,” he says.

They wonder when this turned into a game of copycat. She smiles.

He wants to tell her to stop smiling, what is left to smile for? The next time the sun rises, he might as well be dead. Rather dead than without her. Without her.

“Blaise is joining us,” she argues. “He’s fighting with us.”

“Then go snog Blaise,” Draco said bitterly. “Obviously he’s the better man.”

“Not better,” Hermione said sagely. “Merely smarter.”

Draco shot her an icy glare which she ignored skillfully.

“Please,” she pleads again. “You can come with me, with us. We’ll be together, and if we die, we’ll die together.”

“You were never one for those tragic romances, Hermione,” he says. “When did you go Shakespeare on me?”

She doesn’t question the muggle reference; she’s focused on her goal.

“You can’t change who I am,” he mumbled. “You knew what you were getting into.”

“I’ve changed how you look at me, look at who I am, haven’t I? A year ago I would have never dreamed it, and now look at us, look at where we are.”

“Where are we?” he asked. “I can look around me and see that we are hiding in the back of a library because the world is afraid of seeing us together, and I can look deeper and see that what we have is a very special, and the world is afraid of that too. I’m so damn tired of being afraid, Hermione! Aren’t you? We have to survive, and we can’t do that if we are foolish.”

Hermione stared at Draco a long time.

“There has to be more to life than surviving,” she said.

~

Dean was complaining about magic again.

You would think that being able to turn a person into a worm would be compensation enough, but no, he was forever complaining about not being able to get his daily fix of anime at Hogwarts. Hermione had to roll her eyes at him.

Dean and Hermione, along with nearly half their year were all congregated in the Room of Requirement. This was the future of The Order, the next generation. Harry often ran the meetings simply by default. Each person present had received a small piece of paper that held the location of Order headquarters on it, it was to signify trust, an invitation to the fight of their lives you could say. It was the most precious gift anyone could receive, and only a very select few could give it out.

“Graduation is upon us,” Harry began the meeting. “Many of you know what this means. It’s not something everyone can get away with, and many of you will not come out unscathed, but it must be done.”

Everyone in the room sat in a somber silence. Their end was near, and they all wanted to go out with a bang.

“Now,” Harry continued, “The final question is…what exactly will our Seventh year prank be?”

~

The castle was alive again with the promise of a bright future. Graduation day. No one could have wished for a more perfect day, no one. Everyone around Hermione felt at least a small sense of accomplishment and pride. Soon they would all be launched into the rest of their lives, and many of them weren’t ready.

Hermione walked down a lone corridor. She passed a closet and couldn’t help but smile when she heard the loud banging coming from inside. It’s a good thing they were graduating; Snape probably didn’t think their prank was as humorous as they did.

The castle was so alive sometimes it unnerved her. She could feel the loneliness of thousands of students throughout the ages. She could feel their pain and their joy, their defeats and their triumphs. It was humbling really, walking there empty corridors. She really was only a little piece of a much greater puzzle.

She felt his presence before she saw him. She didn’t hear any footsteps; he walked to carefully to make any. She felt him, as though he were already a part of her.

He caught up to her and gently touched her on the shoulder. She turned and met his solemn gaze.

“I-” he stopped short and looked down at his shoes before continuing. “I can’t live without you, Hermione.”

Hermione lightly touched his chin and raised his eyes to her own. “Draco” was all she seemed able to say.

“My father once told me that a man had to have something to fight for, something to win,” Draco said quietly. “H always meant something to fight for in the winning and gloating sense, but it was nonetheless the best advice he ever gave me. Hermione, I want to fight for you, and if that means I have to turn my back on my father…well, all the better actually.”

Hermione felt the tears come, but she didn’t feel them fall. “You mean you’ll fight for us?” she asked carefully.

“I’ll fight for you.” he replied. “Whatever you deem fit to fight for; I’ll be there by your side.”

Hermione answered by rummaging in her bag, and pulled out a simple piece of parchment.

“What’s that?” Draco asked.

“A gift.” Hermione replied, and handed it to him with a kiss.

Draco silently unfolded the small piece of paper and his eyes widened at it’s contents.

The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.

The End




69. Name/Pen Name: Gravidy
Pairing of the fic you want: Hermione/Draco
Rating(s) of the fic you want: PG-13 to NC-17
3 - 5 Things you want your gift to include:
1. A strange/mysterious gift (doesn't have to be an X-mas gift)
2. Torrid romance
3. A noticeable single element that is completely AU
4. Blaise
5. Snape locked in a closet
What you don’t want your gift to include:
Harry bashing, femmeslash, incest, suicide/cutting, death of Draco or Hermione, House-Elf lovin', Voldemort or Dumbledore lovin', child abuse, unhappy ending, completely foul-mouthed or slut Hermione
LinkReply

Comments:
From: zaralya
2005-01-03 09:35 pm (UTC)
I liked it a lot! Well done!

*Zaralya*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: xveritaserumx
2005-01-05 06:04 pm (UTC)
thank you!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: julesndairyland
2005-01-04 02:01 am (UTC)
Hurray, Draco finally figured it out!
Sweet story.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: xveritaserumx
2005-01-05 06:10 pm (UTC)
thank you! He's a boy, you have to give him a little extra time than most :P
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: gravidy
2005-01-04 10:55 am (UTC)
Yay! I was beginning to think I'd never get a story. I almost didn't check today. Woo-hoo! Thank you! Lovely dynamic between Draco and Hermione.

"not being able to get his daily fix of anime"

Ah, I can commiserate with Dean. :)

"She passed a closet and couldn’t help but smile when she heard the loud banging coming from inside."

Yes! It had to happen eventually! ROFLMAO

I think the gift was my favorite part. That was perfect. It symbolized so much and said so much and I was even half afraid when I saw what it was because there was still that chance that he could take it and run. What a scary and beautiful sign of trust.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: xveritaserumx
2005-01-05 06:08 pm (UTC)
I know it was terribly late, I was sort of a fill-in writer, lol. I knew you liked anime, so I thought you would enjoy a mention, Snape in the closet was the hardest to put in though, because I'm al about angsty fics :P I knew right away what the girft was going to be though, family heirloms and such are pretty cliche now, huh?

In all, I was very nervous to write this for you! I love your fics and was intimidated :P I'm very very very glad you like it!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: granger2malfoy
2005-01-06 01:15 pm (UTC)
well-done. that was a good gift to give him and I am glad to see that he came to his senses.

jessie
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[User Picture]From: aleja221
2005-11-26 07:22 pm (UTC)
This was one of my fave lines

“My father once told me that a man had to have something to fight for, something to win,” Draco said quietly. “H always meant something to fight for in the winning and gloating sense, but it was nonetheless the best advice he ever gave me. Hermione, I want to fight for you, and if that means I have to turn my back on my father…well, all the better actually.”

I just loved the how it all flowed together.
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